Anonymous asked: OMG so i went to this party and got really drunk and met this guy right. We had sex etc and i realized i had a bf. So the morning after, i told my bf what happened and he laughed his ass off while i cried for 3 hours straight until he finally told me that the guy i slept with was him. Then we had sex again
this message was a roller coaster
English grammar crash course: “oo” words
one goose
two geese
one tooth
two teeth
one foot
two feet
one moose
two meese
one boob
two beeb
(via heart)
If anyone wants a clumsy baby giraffe with a heart of gold I’m up for adoption you just gotta pay for my imaginary expensive lifestyle and take me to Disney World often
Clumsy baby giraffe #2 over here. Please adopt us it’s buy one get one free
Yeeeeeeees
I love giraffes so much but I don’t have the money to take you to Disney world :(
It ok. ❤️
I can dress up as Disney characters and pretend we’re @ Disney world
Deal
I can get you a stuffed giraffe and a Sam’s gift card
Lol your tag!!!
(Source: marsincharge, via marsincharge)
chamber of secrets au where fred and george steal ginny’s diary bc “haha ginny why are you keeping a diary omg its old and blank” and they just start drawing dicks in it and then the dicks fade off the paper and fred and george just look at each other and go “omg infinite dicks” so they draw dicks on it all year until the diary literally ink vomits itself to death bc tom riddle cant handle the dicks anymore and no one ever opened the chamber of secrets and fred and george destroyed the very first horcrux the end
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
Beyoncé always on beat
I love this one
Yup this is my favorite one
(via marsincharge)
How to tell if it was a gunshot or fireworks: gunshots don’t echo, fireworks do.
thaNK YOU SO MUCH
the fact that anyone might commonly need to know this terrifies me
clearly you’re not from america
(via ernoticon)
i really hate the effect our hypersexualized society has on young girls. do you know how fucked up it is for an 11 year old girl to be scared of heterosexual sex because she thinks its inevitable? when i was 11, guys told me it would be painful, that penetration was mandatory, and that guys will want blowjobs. when i said i didnt want to do that ever, everyone made fun of me, and my parents told me i’d want that when i got older. guys always look forward to sex but little girls not even in their teens yet are anticipating it in fear because they think it’s mandatory for them to experience pain and humiliation to please men honestly what the fuuuck
(via trans-hawkguy)
me-she-her-breaI can’t click my reblog button hard enough
everytime I’m in the mirrorI can’t call bullshit on this fast enough. First three panels are accurate. The last three are fantasy. No woman wants a fat slob. I know as I am a fat slob no woman wants.
Plenty of women prefer fat men or don’t mind men of any size, that isn’t bullshit. Being fat and being a slob are two completely different things. Don’t project your own frustrations onto something meant to uplift fat men.
This is my girlfriend and I. I do the same for her likewise. We are on a mission to lose weight but I swear I love her no matter what size she is and she loves me no matter what size I am.
(via trans-hawkguy)